WTF happened to Coldplay

I remember the first time I heard Coldplay‘s music. It was late 1999 (I think). I picked up a copy of an EP called The Blue Room, which featured five tracks on it. I would later discover that this was the band’s first release under the Parlophone label that they’d recently signed with.

Coldplay, wondering why they don't think their music sounds shit when every one else does.

I thought it was magnificent at the time – still do actually. It was such a unique sound, and Chris Martin’s vocals were like nothing I’d ever heard. Soon after that came Parachutes, the band’s debut album. I got it before it was released. I was so excited by their sound. I loved every track, one of which, Don’t Panic, appeared in a different form on the EP.

Fast forward a decade or so, and I’m lost for words again about Coldplay’s latest release. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. Again, it’s a unique sound, like nothing I’ve ever heard.

Trouble is, it’s uniquely shit.

Colpdplay was one of those band’s I thought I’d like forever, like Death Cab For Cutie, or Elbow, or Sigur Ros. But every time they’ve released a record, it’s been short of the one before. A Rush Of Blood To The Head, their second album, was OK. The Scientist is a beautiful song, and I always liked Warning Sign too. There were other good tracks on there, but none with the quality of the Parachutes tracks.

The production was up-scaled on A Rush Of Blood To The Head somewhat, in my view to the band’s detriment, and that trend continued into X&Y, which again only had a couple of tracks on it I liked. Then there was Vida La Vida, an odd title for an equally odd record. Upon listening to opening track Life In Technicolour, I remember thinking: “Oh, OK. We’re back on track here. This is good.” But then every other track failed to inspire me. By the end of the album, they’d lost me. I couldn’t take it anymore.

The sad thing is that’s made me listen to the older stuff less. I cranked Shiver from Parachutes as I was writing this and thought: “Wow. That’s a fucking great song.” It’s simple. There is nothing complicated about it, but it’s just a great song. Structurally sound, lyrically interesting – just good all over.

And now, in mid-2011, they deliver Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall to our ears. A lot has already been written about this track, but very little of it good. Many have said it sounds like a 90s disco track. I can’t disagree. The first thing that came into my head when I heard it was the Mardi Gras gay, lesbian and bisexual parade that happens every year here in Sydney. Believe me, that’s not a good endorsement. It’s just bog-standard awful. Have a listen, if you dare, and then read on.

My girlfriend said to me what’s happened to Coldplay is like someone who takes a great photograph, and then touches it up so much with Photoshop that it ends up looking completely weird and shit. She’s so right. Coldplay no longer represents the band I loved so much all those years ago.

So what went wrong? It’s like they’ve had their song put through some sort of weird-ass pop machine by the record company executives at Parlophone in the hope that millions of dollars a spat out of the other end. Stadium rock just isn’t their bag. I wish they’d wake up and realise that, but while the money keeps rolling in, it’s unlikely that will happen.

It’s sad. Perhaps the track’s title – teardrops and waterfalls – is some sort of metaphor for what any fans that remain are going through as they hear this new track. One thing is certain – I won’t be going to see them live again until they find a cure for their sickness. It’s just not worth it anymore.

Postscript: Seems I’m not the only person thinking this way. here’s a fun post from popbitch on the possible inspirations for this track.